Don't Box Me In
by bookworm1478
Summary: After being restricted to the cabin, Hawke and Caitlin discuss the feelings their fighting for the other person.
1. Chapter 1

Stories in the series (in order):

The Lady for a Lady

No Easy Way

Sleeping Beauties

An Act of Betrayal

The Devil You Know

Demons

The Riddle of the Night

Soft lighting, slow music, glittering gowns, and subdued decorations greeted Hawke, Dominic and Caitlin as they entered the formal room at the FIRM arranged specifically for a party. "It's just a night out on the town. A little dinner, and a little dancing. It will be fun." Hawke reassured them as they walked into the room.

No one greeted them as they walked in so the three mingled their way to the bar where they each got a drink and then mingled their way to a table where they took three of the four chairs around a white satin tablecloth draped table.

"When do we eat?" Hawke asked as they watched unfamiliar faces dance in the middle of the room.

"I hope soon." Dominic covered a sneeze. "Bless me."

"Dom," Caitlin said with concern. "Maybe you should have skipped this evening. I think you got a cold from last week's job."

It was probably true, Hawke thought, as he remembered the past month of non-stop runs for Michael that they had made in Airwolf. They would no sooner return from a foreign country or a flight up the coast, and then Michael would have them going out again. A reprieve came three days earlier along with an invitation to a FIRM shindig.

"I'm fine, sweetheart," He said, his voice nasally from the previous sneeze. "Besides, it's nice to see something other than the inside of Airwolf for a night."

The orchestra changed songs with ease and Hawke stood. "Would you like to dance, Miss O'Shaughnessy?"

"I would love to, Mr. Hawke." She placed her manicured hand in Hawke's hand and he led her to the dance floor.

Hawke held her tight to his body as they swayed to the music. "Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" He asked.

It was true. Caitlin chose a black ankle length gown that accentuated her every curve and glistened in the light from the sequences. The strappy high heel shoes she chose made her a hair's length taller than Hawke.

"You look pretty dapper yourself." Caitlin said running her hand over the shoulder of his black tux. "But I think we should leave after this and get Dominic home."

He swung her around so he wasn't facing Dominic when he said, "I think you're right. Want to stop off for a burger after we take Dom home?"

"Add a chocolate shake to that and you've got a deal."

Hawke smiled and spun Caitlin around again so he could see Dominic. The music ended with applause and Hawke saw an older woman speaking to Dominic. They looked entranced in conversation so Hawke pulled Caitlin to him again just as another song began.

"I thought we were leaving," Caitlin said.

"Dominic's busy and I'm not ready to let you go yet."

Caitlin's mouth opened to say something when Michael dressed in a white tux hobbled up to them.

"Can I cut in?"

Without missing a beat, Hawke teased. "You're not my type." He and Caitlin shared a smile at the remark.

"I'm serious, Hawke. Finish this dance and meet me in my office."

The mood had been broken so Hawke cut the dance short and he along with Caitlin and Dominic left the ballroom to go to Michael's office.

"What is it?" Hawke asked as he walked into the office followed by Caitlin and Dominic. "We were all actually having a good time."

Dominic sneezed.

"I need Airwolf tonight for a pickup."

"You invited us to a party so you could ask us to run a mission?" Dominic asked.

"It will be a quick run. You should be back by tomorrow night."

"Where?" Dominic asked. He sniffed and Caitlin handed him a tissue she had in her purse.

"You're going to South America to pick up a box to transport back here to the FIRM. I need you to leave tonight. In fact, right now."

Hawke looked over at Dominic in a tux, at Caitlin in an evening gown, and then down at his tux. "You want us to leave now!"

Michael nodded. "A special forces team has the box in their possession. They'll meet you at these coordinates." He slid a piece of paper over the table. Caitlin held on to it. "You'll load the box onto Airwolf and come back here. Quick and easy."

"Says the man who gets to sit behind a desk all day." Hawke and the others stood up. "We'll leave for Airwolf right now and contact you when we have the box in the air."

"Just another night out on the town, huh?" Caitlin teased as they made their way to the elevator.

"A little dinner, a little dancing, what could go wrong?" Dominic joined in the teasing.

Hawke hit the first floor button on the elevator too hard and it made a popping sound. "Very funny, guys."


	2. Chapter 2

Stories in the series (in order):

The Lady for a Lady

No Easy Way

Sleeping Beauties

An Act of Betrayal

The Devil You Know

Demons

The Riddle of the Night

Hawke drove the Jeep to the Valley while Dominic slept in the back and Caitlin slept in the passenger seat. After realizing, Caitlin had fallen asleep, Hawke decided then and there she was going to fly while he slept. At least then, all of them would have had some sleep. After pulling the Jeep into the cavern, Hawke got out and typed in his security code. He pulled the Jeep the rest of the way into the cavern and honked the horn. Both Dominic and Caitlin shot out of their seats and Hawke grinned. "Just a little wake-up call. It's time to get going." He ordered and the others trudged out of the Jeep.

It took ten minutes for the three of them to get out of their evening wear and into the flight suits. Dominic got in the back and Caitlin got into the co-pilot seat.

"Pilot seat," Hawke said. "You're flying."

"But you like to fly." She whined.

"I also like to sleep and you've gotten more in the last hour than I have so you're flying. Dominic, type in the coordinates and tell us where Airwolf lands?"

"Outside of Paraguay, according to the coordinates. Shall we go?"

Caitlin brought Airwolf to life while Hawke sank into the co-pilot's chair and closed his eyes.

* * *

A low rumble stirred Hawke in the co-pilot's seat. He sat up straight, feeling the kink in his neck where he slipped in the chair during the flight.

"What time is it?" He asked, reaching for his sunglasses in the flight suit pocket.

"Our time or South America time?" Caitlin asked as she set Airwolf down in a clearing and powered down.

"Both." Hawke covered a yawn and glanced back to see Dominic asleep.

"He went out shortly after you fell asleep," Caitlin told him. "This cold is really getting to him. The time is," She pressed a button and the time flashed on a screen seconds later. "Eleven o'clock GMT on a Saturday morning which means its eight AM PDT. We're at the coordinates given. What do we do now?"

They didn't have to wait long for an answer. Moments after Caitlin's question, a dusty green jeep drove out of the tree line and came straight for them. It stopped a few feet from Airwolf and two men got out.

Caitlin scrunched her eyes and then grinned. "I don't believe it." Hawke could hear the laugh in her voice. "I don't believe it." She opened the hatch and climbed out.

Hawke pulled his gun out of a compartment and checked to see if it was loaded. He slipped it into the front of his flight suit and joined Caitlin.

Caitlin was heading toward the two men when Hawke slid out of the cockpit. A cold chill went down his spine as he watched Caitlin walk toward them without even a wary movement in her limbs. Then when she stopped in front of one of them and hugged him, the chill went away.

Hawke closed the distance between him and the others in a matter of seconds. Caitlin had stepped back from her hug and turned toward Hawke. "Stringfellow Hawke, I'd like you to meet my big brother, David."

Hawke saw the man now and realized it was the same face from the picture in Maggie O' Shaughnessy's living room. Maggie had said David was in Special Forces. It was just a coincidence that he was part of the group involved in the extraction. He hoped.

He and David sized each other up right there in the middle of the field. David was a head taller than Caitlin with short cropped strawberry blonde hair. He wore a black T-shirt flecked with dust and dark blue jeans. The face and eyes he shared with Caitlin.

"This is Max." David introduced the man with him. Max had been driving the jeep. "What are you doing here, Caitey?" David asked, shooting Hawke with death glances every other word.

Caitlin peeled her brother's hand off her forearm and put it back at his side. "We're here to pick up the box you have in your possession. Is it in the jeep?"

"No," Max said. "It's safe. We had to make sure we were dealing with friendlies before we handed it over." He pointed his gaze at Hawke's gun.

Hawke held it up by the butt so it was dangling in the air. "It's very friendly." He informed Max. "Now, can we get the box and get out of here. Airwolf tends to attract attention."

David took Cait's arm again and whispered loud enough for Hawke to hear, "Ride with us back to the spot and then_ we _have to talk, Caitey. I'm pretty sure flying top secret missions isn't what a stunt person does."

Hawke ran back to wake Dominic and have him secure Airwolf while they went to get the box. When he came back, Caitlin was sitting in the back of the jeep with David closely beside her. Suddenly, he felt like the boyfriend of whom his date's brother didn't approve.


	3. Chapter 3

Stories in the series (in order):

The Lady for a Lady

No Easy Way

Sleeping Beauties

An Act of Betrayal

The Devil You Know

Demons

The Riddle of the Night

Hawke kept his eyes on the makeshift road before them ignoring the bumps and holes the Jeep hit every few feet. Caitlin and David mumbled behind him. He couldn't make out what they were saying, but from the tone of David's voice, Hawke knew it wasn't anything nice.

When Max stopped the Jeep, Hawke jumped out and turned to help Caitlin. David already had her hand helping her down.

"Where's the box?" Hawke asked. "We're on a schedule," He remarked, tapping his watch face for emphasis.

"With my team," David said and walked ahead of them. Caitlin shrugged her shoulders at Hawke and followed David up the hillside. Hawke followed behind and watched as David disappeared over the hillside. When Caitlin followed example, Hawke got a sick feeling in his gut. The sound of Max breathing behind him made the feeling worse.

On the other side of the hill, Hawke saw Caitlin enter a cave. Hawke stopped at the mouth of the cave.

"You can go in. The three bears leased it to us while they're on vacation." He laughed and Hawke tried to smile.

Max stayed at the cave mouth while Hawke went inside. Two lanterns lit the interior where three other men sat around with the same weapons on them that Max carried. With a nod from David, they left the cave. "Help yourself to some food," David said, throwing Hawke a cellophane wrapped brick. "It's not much but it stops the growl."

"No, thanks." He handed the package to Caitlin. David ripped it out of her hands before she had a chance to open it. "She's allergic to that." He handed her a canteen of water. "Wash your hands thoroughly just in case."

"Always my big brother," Caitlin said lovingly. She carried the canteen with her and found a box to sit on while she washed her hands.

"I don't stop being your brother when I'm in another country," David said. He leaned against the cave wall. "Why didn't you tell me you were working for the FIRM?" He asked, directing the question to his sister.

"Why didn't you tell me you were in South America working?" She asked.

"It's a secret."

"Ditto,"

"I'm going to tell mom and dad," He said, rather childishly.

Caitlin set the canteen down and smacked her hands together. "That's very childish of you, David. Maybe I should tell mom and dad about Buster and the peanut butter sandwich or that you were the person that told Peter using rocks to wash dad's new truck would make it shinier."

Hawke watched the interaction with amusement and annoyance. He knew from hearing family stories that Buster was the family dog. He didn't want to know what a peanut butter sandwich had to do with a dog and he didn't want to know about the scratched truck.

"Hey, guys," Max called from behind Hawke. It was a little too loud. "Do you think the sibling rivalry could wait until one of you is in the air and the other is on the ground? We need to move, David, and we can't do that until they have the box."

David shut up and nodded. He walked over to the box Caitlin was sitting on. With one quick pull, Caitlin was standing on her feet. David picked up the box and handed it to Hawke.

It wasn't a big box, but it was sturdy and rather heavy.

"What's in it?" Hawke asked.

David shrugged his shoulders. "We were told to take it and leave it with you. Once we drop you off at your helicopter, my team is done with the mission. Let's go."

Once they left the cave, the other members went back inside. They took the hill back to the jeep and left the same way they came.

The trip took all of twenty-five minutes to make. Dominic had Airwolf covered for safety purposes. Once they were in the clear, he got out and started shedding Airwolf of her blanket.

Hawke got out of the jeep with the box and waited for Caitlin. Dominic ran up to them, sniffling.

"This is it?" He asked, incredulously.

"It can fit in Airwolf without using the cargo hold." He handed the box to Dominic. "We leave in five, Cait," Hawke said before walking off.

Through the tint of the cockpit windows Hawke watched the brother and sister have a conversation. He couldn't read their lips, but from their posture it wasn't a fight. Then David pulled his sister into a hug and Hawke saw the look of sadness on his face and he wondered if Saint John was missing him.

Caitlin gave her brother another hug and then ran to Airwolf. When she got in, Hawke saw the tears even though she was trying to hide them. She put her helmet on quickly.

"He'll be fine, Cait."

She nodded in her helmet. "Let's get out of here,"

Hawke punched two buttons, flipped a switch and Airwolf came to life. "Let's go home."


	4. Chapter 4

Stories in the series (in order):

The Lady for a Lady

No Easy Way

Sleeping Beauties

An Act of Betrayal

The Devil You Know

Demons

The Riddle of the Night

Thank to Hawke and turbos, they made it back to the Valley in time to watch the sunset. Unfortunately, by the time they put Airwolf to bed the sun had set and it was dark outside.

With Caitlin in the back of the jeep with the box, they drove back to Santini Air where Michael was waiting in his limo.

Hawke took the box from Caitlin before she jumped out of the jeep. Dominic sneezed.

"Bless you." Michael said as he instructed his driver to take the box. He thanked them, got into the limo, and the limo drove off.

"How much do you want to bet we're never going to find out what's in that box?" Dominic said. He sneezed again and both Caitlin and Hawke stared at him.

"I'm going home, all right." He walked off muttering something neither one of them could understand.

Hawke slung his arm over Cait's shoulder as they walked to their respective vehicles. "Are you still hungry for that burger?"

"I could eat," She said. "Where do you want to go?"

"Casa de Hawke has a nice menu. I can fix you a pretty good veggie burger."

Caitlin took the hand that was slung over her shoulder and held onto it as they walked to the parking lot.

Tet was barking up a storm when Hawke ran up his steps. Caitlin followed behind him, taking in the night and the full moon that danced its color along the lake.

"What's wrong with him?" Cait asked as she entered behind him. The question was answered by the squawking of the radio on the table above where Tet was having his fit.

Hawke picked up the receiver and patted Tet on the head. "I got it, buddy. You can go."

Tet waddled his way over to Caitlin who sat on the couch listening to Hawke talk to someone over the radio. It took her less than a minute to realize Michael was on the other end and there was trouble. When she heard the word 'contagion' and 'quarantine', she realized her Veggie burger wasn't going to get eaten.

Caitlin attended to Tet while Hawke spoke on the radio. Every once in a while, he would glance back at her with no expression on his face. Caitlin had two sandwiches fixed by the time Hawke was off the radio.

"How bad is it?" She asked as she set a beer in front of him.

Hawke explained over the sandwich and beer how the box they brought from South America possibly carried a contagion and they were to stay quarantined in the cabin until the threat was over.

Caitlin's next question was, "What about David?"

Hawke took a bite of sandwich and a drink of beer. When it was washed down, he said, "Michael had David and his men quarantined in South America and Dominic is being taken to the hospital. Because of his cold, doctors want to watch him more carefully."

"What about us?"

"We're stuck here until Michael calls us back with the results of the contagion in the box."

Caitlin grimaced.

"It's not going to be that bad, Cait. I've got books you can read, cards we can play, food we can eat. I'm not that bad at conversation either."

"Do I still have clothes here?" Caitlin asked, slinking out of her dress shoes.

"Upstairs in the top closet. Help yourself to the shower too."

Caitlin stretched when she stood and carried her shoes upstairs. Maybe spending this time with Hawke would be fun. She opted out of the shower and changed into the jeans and t-shirt she kept at his place for emergencies. When she came back down, Hawke was at the stove.

"I thought I would fix those veggie burgers," He told her.

They eased into conversation as they ate and washed dishes. When the chore was done, the conversation stilled and an awkward silence filled the air.


	5. Chapter 5

Stories in the series (in order):

The Lady for a Lady

No Easy Way

Sleeping Beauties

An Act of Betrayal

The Devil You Know

Demons

The Riddle of the Night

"Go fish," Caitlin said before stifling a yawn.

Hawke tossed his cards on the table and stretched out on the ground where he had been sitting for the last hour playing cards. Caitlin had taken over the couch.

"We're playing Gin Rummy, Cait. Go Fish was twenty minutes ago."

"Sorry," She yawned again. Hawke gathered the cards and slipped them back into the carton. "Why don't you use my bed and get some sleep. You're yawning so much even Tet is getting in on the action."

On cue, Tet yawned, showing off his humongous mouth. Then he laid his head back down and closed his eyes.

"I don't want to sleep. I can't sleep until I know what we brought back in that box."

Caitlin got up and walked around the cabin. She walked outside for a few minutes enjoying the moon on the water and the cool evening. When she walked back inside and closed the door, Hawke had a paper swan in his hand.

"How did you do that?"

"I learned origami in school. I can make a frog that actually leaps, too." He handed her the swan and stood up from the floor. "Find some paper. I'm going to grab us some more drinks."

Caitlin went to the bookshelf for paper. Hidden between a weathered copy of _Crime and Punishment_ and _The Diary of a Nobody_, was a black and white bound journal. Caitlin pulled it out of the bookshelf and let it fall open in her hands.

'_Dear Cait,'_

The words were scribbled in pencil on the top line of the paper. Cait flipped back through the pages and found, "_'Dear Mom and Dad'_, '_Dear Kelly'_, '_Dear Saint John'_, '_Dear Gabrielle_'. She closed the journal when she returned to her name.

"Did you find some?"

Cait glanced at him and saw the look of horror in his face. He set down the glasses of tea and grabbed the book in her hand. "There should be more paper somewhere else," He said. Hawke slipped the journal into the empty space and turned toward her. "I'm sure I can find some paper somewhere."

"Hawke, my name was written in that journal. Why was my name in that journal?"

"No reason at all," Hawke said. "It was nothing."

"Then the pages would have been blank." She pulled the journal off the shelf again, opened it to a sheet, and shoved it at Hawke. "_Dear Cait_. Why were you writing a letter to me?"

Hawke dropped onto the couch and let his elbows rest against his knees while his hands covered his face. In a muffled voice, Caitlin heard Hawke say, "Because you were dead and my shrink told me too."


	6. Chapter 6

Stories in the series (in order):

The Lady for a Lady

No Easy Way

Sleeping Beauties

An Act of Betrayal

The Devil You Know

Demons

The Riddle of the Night

Caitlin paced back and forth in front of Hawke. Her arms were crossed in front of her and she wore an expressionless face.

Hawke hadn't said a word since his revelation and that was five minutes ago. Since then, he was speechless. Frankly, he didn't know what else to say.

"You wrote a letter to me while I was dead. Technically, I was never dead." Caitlin blurted out.

"Technically, you were dead. For six weeks. You were dead." Hawke countered.

They both went silent again. Tet's whine was the only sound in the room. Then: "You said you're psychiatrist told you to write the letter. When did you start seeing a doctor?"

Hawke wiped at his face again and leaned back against the couch. If this was going to be a long story, he wanted to be comfortable. "After my parents died, Dominic sent Saint John and me to see a psychiatrist. He told us to write letters to our parents telling them all the things we never told them while they were alive. I did. I pulled the journal out again after Kelly died and Saint John disappeared. I found it again after we thought Horn killed you and started the letter. I never finished it. I killed Horn instead."

"In self-defense, Hawke. Dominic told me it was self-defense." She paused. "Can I read the letter?"

"I'd rather you not. You have to understand, Cait, I wasn't in a good place when I wrote that letter. I was blaming myself for not going with you when you asked me to and for not getting to you in time. To be honest, I don't remember what I wrote in the letter." He lied.

Caitlin went to the bookshelf and pulled out the journal.

"Cait, don't!" Hawke stood up and Tet sensed the tension and got to his feet as well. "I'm asking you not to read the letter. It's late. We're both tired and very likely this whole thing will be over in the morning. Let's just get some sleep. You take the bed and I'll take the couch. Please, Cait."

He was pleading and she heard the hurt in his voice. She would get a hold of the journal later and read the letter.

"Fine, I'll see you in the morning." She picked up the drink she never got to drink and carried it upstairs with her. When she got into the bedroom, she closed the door, sat on the bed, and waited.


	7. Chapter 7

Stories in the series (in order):

The Lady for a Lady

No Easy Way

Sleeping Beauties

An Act of Betrayal

The Devil You Know

Demons

The Riddle of the Night

The flowing sounds of "Moonlight Sonata" floated up into the bedroom waking her from sleep. Caitlin yawned and stretched out on the bed trying to remember when she fell asleep. The clock on the nightstand showed 1:43 am. She had been asleep for two hours.

The cello was still playing "Moonlight Sonata" and Caitlin realized Hawke was awake. She slipped her shoes off her feet and padded out into the hallway and looked over the stairwell. Hawke wasn't in the living room playing. The music was coming from the porch. She knew this was her only chance to get the journal so she crept downstairs and pulled the journal from its place in the bookshelf.

There was no need to rifle through the written pages. The journal opened to her letter immediately, a sign the journal had been kept open to this page many times.

Caitlin sat back on the couch and began reading.

'_Dear Cait, _

_I never thought I would be writing a letter to you in this journal. My mind keeps going back to that TV screen and the gunshot that took you away from us. . .from me. I want you here so badly that my mind is creating you everywhere in the cabin. I haven't been out anywhere, so I'm guessing it won't be long before I see you in public. I haven't had the courage to see your parents. I'm afraid of what I might say or do that would hurt them even more than the loss they would suffer at never being able to see you again. _

_I'm sitting here with my cello in front of me playing your favorite songs, watching Tet mope around like he lost his favorite toy. I never thought that you were around Tet long enough for him to miss you. He must realize the pain I feel. I laid in bed this morning, holding my breath so I could feel my heart slow. I wonder how fast your heart was beating right before Horn shot you? Had you given up on us coming getting to you? I wonder about these things.'_

Caitlin turned the page.

_'The whole time we were trying to get to you I kept thinking about the only thing I had never said to you. Something I wish I had told you right before you got into your car and disappeared from our lives forever. Even if the words were only taken in friendship at least you would have known how I felt. The saying 'now is as good a time as any' doesn't always apply in some cases, but I assume it will have to apply in this one. Who knows, maybe you're looking down from heaven and watching me write this. If so, Caitlin O'Shaughnessy, you should know that. . .'_

The letter stopped.

Caitlin flipped forward in the book, but the rest were empty pages. What had happened that stopped him from finishing his final words to her? What were his final words to her?

The music from the cello seeped back into her mind and she remembered Hawke was on the porch. Gathering her courage and the journal, she walked to the front door, opened it, and stepped outside.

Hawke glanced at her briefly as his bow slid along the strings of the cello. His music soothed the soul and even she couldn't bring herself to yell at him as she was going to do moments ago. Instead she stood in the doorway until he finished the song. When he put the cello back in the case, she took a step toward him and handed him the journal.

"You didn't finish your letter," She said.

Hawke took the journal and laid it aside. "I was going to finish it, but revenging your death got into the way." He went on to explain. "Dominic and I had different ways of grieving. His way was to repair Airwolf so we could go after Horn. When Airwolf was ready to fly, he came to get me. I was writing the letter when he showed up. I forgot I hadn't finished it."

Caitlin shrugged and slipped her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "Finish it now. Right here, in front of me. Tell me how you would have finished the letter."

"Cait, I—"

Caitlin whipped her hands out of the pockets of her jeans and let them slap against the side of her pants. She hoped the ending of his letter was going to be the words she had been waiting for.

Before either of them could utter another word, the radio squawked.

With his head still hung down, Hawke excused himself and went inside to get the radio. Caitlin picked up the cello case, using both hands to hold it. Tet whined at her side.

"I want to hear the words from him, Tet. Is that so hard to understand?"

Hawke came back out a few minutes later.

"What's up?" She asked, noting the confused expression on his face.

"Michael was just checking on us. He wanted us to know that Dominic is fairing well and your brother is handling the situation as well as could be expected. No one is showing any signs of distress which is good because pulmonary distress would have already happened by now. It looks like we all may be in the clear."

"Except you," Caitlin pointed at the journal lying on the bench. "Finish the letter, Hawke."

"Cait, I can't finish the letter because it's not fair to you."

Caitlin threw her hands up in the air. "What isn't fair to me? Did you forget what you were going to say in the letter? Do you have amnesia? Oh, wait. That was me. Did you live with a drug manufacturer for six weeks under a different name because you couldn't remember who you really were? Oh, no that was me as well. So, there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to finish that letter. Finish it, Hawke!"

Tet howled at the loud noise. "Sorry, Tet." Caitlin retreated into the confines of the cabin. She grabbed some food out of the refrigerator and the bread from the cabinet and started making a sandwich.

"What are you doing?" Hawke asked when he came inside.

"I'm mad and I've got food in front of me. What do you think I'm getting ready to do?"

Cait washed the tomato, placed on the cutting board and started slicing it. In the middle of her third slice, she stopped the knife half way through the tomato, pulled it out, and laid the knife down.

"What's wrong?" Hawke asked.

Caitlin looked up at him, frowned, and said, "I can't do this anymore, Hawke."

Somehow, Caitlin knew Hawke understood she wasn't talking about slicing the tomatoes.


	8. Chapter 8

Stories in the series (in order):

The Lady for a Lady

No Easy Way

Sleeping Beauties

An Act of Betrayal

The Devil You Know

Demons

The Riddle of the Night

Hawke picked up a slice of tomato and slipped it into his mouth. He chewed it slowly, contemplating what to say to Caitlin as he chewed. When the tomato was mush, he swallowed.

"You know what I'm talking about, don't you, Hawke?" Caitlin asked as she stared at him.

"I know you want me to finish the letter, Cait, but I can't do that. I can't do that to me or to us." Hawke turned away from the kitchen and went to the fireplace. He slid the fire poker between two logs and moved one of them. Ash and sparks flew up the chimney in retaliation and the log rolled over and caught fire.

A hand touched his shoulder with a gentle touch and Hawke turned around. He still carried the fire poker in his hand. He hung it up with the rest of the tools and then sat down on the couch. "All those letters I wrote are to people who have died, except Saint John, and he's been gone so long I don't know anymore. When we . . . when I thought you were dead, I wrote the letter to get my feelings out for you." He looked up at her and smiled. "That day I saw you in Duveaux's house I knew it wasn't another hallucination. I _knew_ you were alive. You were flesh and bone, cloth and makeup. You were alive." He let out a nervous laugh. "If I finish that letter, what happens to you then?"

Caitlin sat down beside him and slipped her hands in between his elbow and chest so she could hug herself to him and then she rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm not going to disappear like Saint John. I'm not going to die like Gabrielle. I'm alive." She removed herself from his body and he felt cold at the absence. "I need you to finish the letter because I need to hear the words from your lips. I think I know what you were going to say, but I need to hear it from you."

She put her hands on both sides of his face and kissed his lips. Hawke kissed her back and found himself wrapping his arms around her waist pulling her toward his body.

She broke the kiss and he groaned.

"As nice as it was, a kiss won't work on me, Caitlin." He said, afterward.

"You think. . ." She stopped her sentence and stood to her feet. His jacket was strewn on the couch. She slipped into it and pushed the sleeves up close to her elbows. "If you think that I was using a kiss to get you to finish the letter, then you don't know me at all. Who knows, maybe that's for the best," Caitlin found her purse on the kitchen counter. She looped it over her shoulder and grabbed his car keys off the hook. "If all you want is a best friend, then I will walk out of this cabin the best friend you've ever had. But, if you want more, then say so, Hawke, and I will be _more_ for you."

Hawke didn't answer her. He was too stunned at seeing her temper and the fact that she was wearing his jacket and carrying his car keys.

"Fine. I guess I have my answer. I'll leave the Jeep at the hangar and have Chris come and get you in the morning."

She stormed out of the cabin, slamming the door behind her. A small earthquake shook the living room floor.


	9. Chapter 9

Stories in the series (in order):

The Lady for a Lady

No Easy Way

Sleeping Beauties

An Act of Betrayal

The Devil You Know

Demons

The Riddle of the Night

Hawke was just at the door ready to open it when the radio sparked to life. He hesitated. Caitlin was leaving the cabin and her words right before she left were still ringing his ears.

The radio squawked again. Hawke dropped his hand from the doorknob and grabbed the receiver to the radio. "This is Hawke," He spoke into it.

Michael's voice crackled on the other end. "Everyone's in the clear," He said. "Whatever my people found in the box isn't harmful after all. You and Caitlin can leave the cabin."

"That's good," Hawke said into the receiver, "because Caitlin just took off. How's Dom?"

"The doctors are releasing him with strict instructions for bed rest. He has the flu. You'll need to pick him up at the hospital. You said Caitlin left before the quarantine was lifted?" A harsh crackling made Hawke take a step back from the receiver.

"She left a few minutes ago. Hey, Michael."

"Yes."

"Can you send a helicopter for me? Cait took the Jeep."

There was quiet on the other end and Hawke thought Michael had missed his question. He opened his mouth to ask again when Michael came over the radio. "I'm sending one for you now. I owe you that much."

"By sending us into South America for a box that possibly contained a contagion after we spent a month doing jobs for you, brother, you owe us more than a chopper ride. Hawke, out."

"They'll be there in forty-five minutes."

Hawke took the time to change, pack Caitlin's dress clothes, and grab the journal. He was waiting on the porch when the white helicopter came into view.

* * *

After the FIRM helicopter dropped him off at Santini Air, Hawke found the Jeep exactly where he parked it every morning. The keys were under the floor mat.

Hawke drove the twenty minutes to the hospital where Dominic was waiting for him in the waiting area.

"Where's Caitlin?" Dominic asked, before he sneezed into a tissue.

"She went home a while ago." Hawke turned left at the red light and headed for Dominic's apartment. "I have a problem, though. Cait found the journal."

"So, it's about time you told her about the journal."

Hawke continued. "The journal had a letter I wrote to her after she died. I didn't' get to finish the letter and Caitlin wants me to finish it now."

"So, what's the problem?"

"I don't know if I can finish the letter. It's one thing to say the words when she's not standing in front of me and it's another thing to say the words when she is."

"Sure, it should be easier."

Hawke pulled into a parking spot in front of Dominic's apartment and put the Jeep in park.

"I see the way you trust Caitlin," Dominic said. "I know the way she makes you laugh. You trust her with Airwolf, with my life, with your life. I know first hand what you're like when she's not around. The words are there, Hawke. You feel them for Caitlin. All she wants you to do is tell her."

Dominic got out of the Jeep. "I'm at home for the next week per doctor's instructions. Try not to burn, sell, or bankrupt Santini Air while I'm not there."

Hawke waited until Dominic was in the apartment building before he drove off.


	10. Chapter 10

Stories in the series (in order):

The Lady for a Lady

No Easy Way

Sleeping Beauties

An Act of Betrayal

The Devil You Know

Demons

The Riddle of the Night

Caitlin parked the Jeep in Hawke's parking spot, hid the keys, and got into her own car to go home. Her body ached from fatigue and sadness. She wasn't sure but she thought she had just ended her friendship with Hawke. If she ended her friendship with Hawke, that meant she had to find another job which also meant no Dominic or Airwolf. She'd miss them both.

Caitlin trudged her way into her apartment, out of her clothes, and into a pair of pajamas. She hung Hawke's jacket up on her coat hook and went to bed.

It was a little after three when she slipped under the covers. As soon as she closed her eyes, the phone rang.

Caitlin reached for it with closed eyes and hit the button on her clock/radio. The morning news blurted out at her. Cait slapped her hand against the sleep button and the radio went off. The phone kept ringing, though. She grabbed it on the umpteenth ring.

"Hello," Her sleepy voice answered. "This better be good."

"I was checking to see if you were home," David's voice came through the other end. "We were given the green light to leave quarantine a few hours ago and I just got to a phone."

"It's three o'clock in the morning."

David's laughter rang through the phone. "No, sis, it's seven-thirty your time." There was a holler on his end of the phone. He was silent for a moment and then he said, "I've got to get going. See ya soon." He hung up the phone.

Caitlin hung her end of the phone up and looked at the clock for the first time since she woke up. David had been known to lie to her about the time before, but this time he wasn't. It was a few minutes after seven-thirty. Caitlin turned off the alarm and went to get a cup of coffee. While she watched the brown brew dribble into her new carafe, she heard a thud at the door.

Dragging her feet to the door, she opened it and looked down for the morning paper. It wasn't there. She started to close the door when she saw a piece of paper taped to her door.

Caitlin pulled the paper off, tape and all, and opened it. Inside was the letter Hawke had written her months ago when he thought she had died. Caitlin didn't have to read it because she knew what it said.

"You died," Hawke's voice filled the space between them. Caitlin didn't even notice he was in the hallway. She looked up at him with the paper still in her hands. She saw him swallow and then he repeated, "You died."


	11. Chapter 11

Stories in the series (in order):

The Lady for a Lady

No Easy Way

Sleeping Beauties

An Act of Betrayal

The Devil You Know

Demons

The Riddle of the Night

"What?" Caitlin asked when they were standing in her living room. She had re-done it after Duveaux was killed inside. So far, it made no difference.

"My parents drowned in a boating accident, Kelly supposedly died in a car accident, Saint John was there one minute and gone the next, Gabrielle was kidnapped and killed in the desert, we argued, you left, and then I watched Horn kill you. How I feel about you still hangs on what I've experienced in the past. I don't want to say something meaningful to you and then lose you."

Caitlin was still standing with the note grasped in her hand. She went to the couch and sat down. "Hawke, the first night you saw me, do you know that you saved my soul? Those men were trying to hurt me and you saved me. I can count numerous other ways you saved my life. I'm not going to die after you say what you have to say. I swear I'm not going to die."

Hawke opened his mouth to say something and then closed it. When a few seconds passed, he said, "I'm scared of what's going to happen."

"Do you think I'm not? Hawke, relationships are a crap shoot going into them, but sometimes you just have to jump in feet first."

Hawke smiled. "You used the wrong analogy. It should have been 'sometimes you just have to throw the dice'."

Hawke started laughing and Caitlin joined in. When their laughter had somewhat contained itself, Hawke said, "Finish reading the letter."

"But I read it earlier," She reminded him.

"Just finish reading it."

Caitlin perused the last few lines until she came to the unfinished portion. Time stopped as she read the last three words. She looked up from the letter to find Hawke standing too close to her.

He held her hands in his. The paper crackled loudly from the crushing.

"I . . .love. . .you, Caitlin." He said each word slowly and with feeling.

"I . . .love. . .you, Hawke." Caitlin repeated the words with the same slowness and feeling. Hawke released her hands from his grip. She dropped the paper to the floor and wrapped her arms around his neck.

When Caitlin released his neck, she stepped back and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "What now?" She asked, seriously not knowing where they went there.

"I have an idea, but you have to trust me." He winked at her.

"I trust you with my life, Hawke."

He took her hand and led her toward her front door. "Good, because this idea is pretty crazy, even for me."


End file.
